Last weekend I went to Brussels to a bigger journey I could never have imagine!
I got the most emotional days of my life so far, and now when I look back, I'm soo happy I got it because it made me realize a lot of things!
I will give you an explanation.
Me, my mum, dad, sister and Josse took our bags and went to Brussels to see the third year end produktion, IrritatEion.
I went to see all my friends, Josse too, and my family to see Pedro (they promised him last year and a Nerman/Ydén keeps their promises...).
I knew everybody would be there including their families and friends!
When we arrived I saw everybody and I was super happy but I also had kind of a suprise, no girlfriend. Why I wonder...
But it was better than I dared to think to meet family! And all my friends!
My first night I sleept like an angel (or I actually dreamt that my mum died but except that I slept good!)
Second day. My old class gathered at Paulines place and we had dinner and loads of beers and fun from 15.oo in the day! It was sooo nice! Happy (and a bit drunk) we went to see the show.
BAM.
The show.
wow... I can't explain it but you who saw it knows exact what I mean.
I had a unprepared rehabilitation for my body, my heart, my soul and my brain!
Then we had a GREAT party all of us. Me over loaded of emotions from everywhere!
Sunday.
Hangover like hell... everywhere...
Dinner with family and old love. HANGOVER.
Wine and beer have a weird way of taking away your hangover! (thats why we have alcoholics in the world...)
Ended up in another party!
FUN!
Ended the night with putting all my emotions out on one person. Like normal. Right or Wrong!? Who knows, and who cares!?
It ended in a good night kiss and good night sleep!
Monday, breakfast with my "second" family! Lovely!
Shopping and going back to Sweden...
After many hours and very late we finally arrived home!
Tired after to little sleep and too much emotions!
Went to school.... Slept 19 hours.
Woke up and my brain came back home!
Wonderfull week in school! Plus that my back is really progressing and I start to do some "real" training for it! And I got to know that next week I will work with some people from Les Arts Sauts, to learn how to teach mini flying trapeze! THAT'S MY DREAM!
And I finally found my clown (or comic) character!
I will also spend the weekend at a conferance on a Finland cruiser with clowns without borders!
So you can imagine what a week! Not bad eh!??
The last days I finally understood! I understood my heart!
I never left Brussels.
Or my body did, but not my heart and brain.
Or my brain fooled my heart that it did but no...
Not until this weekend!
My poore little portugris had to stand almost a year of my weird questions and explanations, without having the chance to answer anything since I never can stop talking and answering my own questions... But it was about everyone in Brussels, my life there.
I left a life I did not want to leave, wich meant that I never did... mentaly.
And who gets the blame!? Offcourse the portugris!
What I really missed is everyone and everything I love so much! My class, the other class (the third year of this year), Angelique, the kids, Durum, the market in Gare Du Midi, you name it... MY LIFE!
But now, when I finally understood!
My lovely life there is not there anymore, it's years that I lived and that are over!
It may sound sad, but I'm soo happy! I moved on! I'm not there, I'm here and I'm working my fucking ass off to live a life as an artist!
AND I'M HAPPY!
And it doesn't meen that I don't love them because i will always do!
I'm just in a new phase of life!
